Facebook with the Gleeks!
by Elphaba-TheDefiant
Summary: Someone let the New Directions and the Warblers near Facebook! Rated M for innuedos and language! :D My first Facebook and Glee fic! Reviews appreciated.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N – So this is my first shot at a Glee or a Facebook fic! Constructive criticism is welcomed but please no flames! So have a read at it and tell me what you think! :D **

**Bold is someone's name and normal font is the comment/status.**

/

**Rachel Berry: **Movie marathon with all the Glee girls and my Warbler boy! –With **Santana Lopez, Brittany Pierce, Quinn Fabray, Tina Cohen-Chang, Mercedes Jones **and** Kurt Hummel**

**Santana Lopez, Noah 'Puck' Puckerman and 5 others like this. **

**9 Comments **

**Santana Lopez: **One of the good things about Paris – lots of girls willing to take their clothes off for money ;)

**Kurt Hummel: **Shit that's cold! Shit, shit, shit!

**Mercedes Jones: **The people in the boat had nothing to do but wait...wait to live...wait to die...wait for an absolution that would never come.

**Brittany Pierce: **It was called the Ship of Dreams...

**Santana Lopez: **...And it was...it really was.

**Noah 'Puck' Puckerman: **Holy shit I love Titanic!

**Rachel Berry: **Two things. Noah should I be worried at all? And two, STOP CLOGGING UP MY NOTIFICATIONS AND WATCH THE DAMN FILM!

**Noah 'Puck' Puckerman: **Angry Berry...hot ;)

**Santana Lopez: **Gotta agree there Puckerman ;) Smokin'!

/

**Blaine Anderson: **I'm officially scared of Wes and David guys!

**Wesley Midford and David Rosewood like this **

**12 Comments **

**Kurt Hummel: **Oh God...what have they done now?

**David Rosewood: **You don't wanna know...

**Wesley Midford: **... ;)

**Blaine Anderson: **Sat next to me the full way through Chemistry talking about...oh God I can't *headdesk*

**Kurt Hummel: **Someone tell me for the love of Gaga!

**Wesley Midford: **We were talking about blowjobs ;)

**David Rosewood – **Pfft xD And we said how Blaine would be gagging to give...

**Blaine Anderson: **Shush! Just...shut it!

**Kurt Hummel: **...I'm going to back away slowly now. You are all freaking me out.

**Wesley Midford: **;)

**David Rosewood: **;)

**Blaine Anderson: ** Oh my Rowling.

/

**Noah 'Puck' Puckerman **to **Finn Hudson: **Dude back off Rachel. She's getting freaked now.

**2 Comments **

**Finn Hudson: ** How do you know that then?

**Noah 'Puck' Puckerman: **Seriously dude. Just back off.

/

**Noah 'Puck' Puckerman **changed his relationship status to **In a Relationship with Rachel Berry.**

**14 Comments **

**Kurt Hummel: **Why did I not know about this Rachel Barbra Berry? Congratulations though guys!

**Mercedes Jones: **Nice! Congrats you two!

**Santana Lopez: **Get some Puck! ;)

**Rachel Berry: ** Noah! I didn't know we were going to make it Facebook official yet!

**Noah 'Puck' Puckerman: **Thanks Santana -.- And yeah babe! I love you so it needed to be done!

**Rachel Berry: ** Aw! That's so cute!

**Santana Lopez: **Puck's gonna get laid ;)

**Brittany Pierce: **Laid where? Like on a hammock? Or on the floor?

**Santana Lopez: **Wanky ;)

**Finn Hudson: ** What the hell dude? Want the leftovers from my lunch as well man?

**Rachel Berry: **Would you be quiet Finn? As you can tell, no one here is listening or cares!

**Santana Lopez: **BUUURN! ;D

**Finn Hudson: **

**Noah 'Puck' Puckerman: **Nice one babe! *high fives*

/

**Quinn Fabray: **Just me who thinks a certain dapper Warbler (that Kurt is totally crushing on) looks like Harry Potter?

**17 Comments **

**Noah 'Puck' Puckerman: **Who, Blaine? 'Course! He's Harry freaking Potter!

**Blaine Anderson: ** Are you talking about me?

**Quinn Fabray: ** Of course!

**Rachel Berry: **Wait...if Blaine's Harry Potter is Kurt Ginny?

**Kurt Hummel: **Oh my Rowling. Kill me.

**Santana Lopez: **OMG Umbridge stop texting me!

**Wesley Midford: **You can't go to Pigfarts it's on Mars! You need a rocketship!

**Brittany Pierce: **DO NOT INSULT HEADMASTER ZEFRON!

**David Rosewood: **What the hell is a Hufflepuff?

**Blaine Anderson: **I'm the boy who lived! Not died! God!

**Kurt Hummel: **What the devil is going on here?

**Wesley Midford: **Oh my God...did Kurt just quote Snape?

**Santana Lopez: **Hah! Kurt watched AVPM! So he must realise the similarities between Blaine and Harry and himself and Ginny!

**Brittany Pierce: **A portkey can be a seemingly harmless object...like a football or...a dolphin

**Kurt Hummel: **Come on, I'm tired. Can't we just be Death Eaters?

**Blaine Anderson: **Well the medallion says that's dumb so we're not going to do that!

**Quinn Fabray: **Stop it! I have about eighty nine notifications!

/

**Noah 'Puck' Puckerman **to **Rachel Berry: **I love you babe ;)

**5 Comments **

**Rachel Berry: **Awh love you too honey!

**Noah 'Puck' Puckerman: **Wanna come over babe? ;)

**Rachel Berry: **Of course ;)

**Santana Lopez: ** Wanky! ;)

**Noah 'Puck' Puckerman: **Get off my status Satan!

/

**Santana Lopez **to **Rachel Berry: ** Remember to use the balloons with Puck's lollipop ;)

**Brittany Pierce, Santana Lopez and 2 others like this. **

**7 Comments **

**Rachel Berry: **Santana! That was between me, you, Britt-Britt and Q!

**Santana Lopez: ** ;) Like anyone could work it out ;)

**Brittany Pierce: **Oh! San, do you mean how like the balloons are the...

**Rachel Berry: **Brittany!

**Noah 'Puck' Puckerman: **Aww! I want to know now D:

**Santana Lopez: **Message me Puck ;)

**Rachel Berry: **Santana! Don't you dare tell him!

/

***Direct messages between Santana Lopez and Noah 'Puck' Puckerman***

**Santana Lopez: **Basically us four have this ongoing thing where balloons are condoms and lollipops are dicks ;) You do not want to know the story behind that ;P

**Noah 'Puck' Puckerman: **Oh God...I'll never look at you four the same way ;) Hot S ;)

**Santana Lopez: **What can I say? I'm wanky ;)

/

**Kurt Hummel: **Oh holy Gaga! I'm mentally scarred! For life!

**6 Comments **

**Wesley Midford: **It wasn't my fault!

**David Rosewood: **Nor mine! ...Wait what actually happened?

**Thad Harwood: **My fault actually. I went to get a hairdryer from Kurt and I was just wearing a towel.

**Wesley Midford: **Oh! Oh god, that's hilarious! LMFAO!

**David Rosewood: **Hah! Nice Thad! ;)

**Kurt Hummel: **It's not funny! I'm scarred!

/

**Noah 'Puck' Puckerman **to **Santana Lopez: **I am going to murder you Santana!

**17 Comments**

**Santana Lopez: **Whoa! Calm down Egghead! What have I done now?

**Noah 'Puck' Puckerman: **Uh, went and got my girlfriend absolutely steaming drunk!

**Santana Lopez: **Chill! We were having fun!

**Brittany Pierce: **Yeah Puck! We had fun! Especially when Santana was doing her mermaid impression!

**Santana Lopez: **Whoa, whoa. I don't remember no mermaid impression.

**Rachel Berry: **Yeah, it was right after Brittany had stripped in the middle of the street!

**Noah 'Puck' Puckerman: **Wait a minute! Brittany went streaking? Class!

**Santana Lopez: **You shut it Berry! You were the one trying to climb a tree, shouting 'I'll save you Rapunzel!'

**Rachel Berry: **I did not!

**Brittany Pierce: **You did Rachy!

**Noah 'Puck' Puckerman: **Rapunzel, babe? Really?

**Rachel Berry: **Hey! Rapunzel is amazing!

**Santana Lopez: **Screw Rapunzel! Mulan FTW!

**Noah 'Puck' Puckerman: **You watch Disney Satan?

**Santana Lopez: **Brittany likes them...shut up.

**Brittany Pierce: **I like Ariel!

**Noah 'Puck' Puckerman: **How did we get from your drunken escapades (Rachel that word was too big for me – you're rubbing off) to Disney?

/

**A/N: Yeah so...just a little bit of fun! Tell me if it was any good or if I should just stop with this xD Now onto the important part! **

**Thanks to – **

**Mischievously-Emo-Leggy: who helped with some of the situations! Love ya girl!**

**JackDawson'sGirl99: who is just an amazing supporter of everything I do! She also helped with some of the Titanic parts. Love you too babes! **

**JusticePig – who is just cool enough to deserve this! She helped with the whole Warbler conversation!**

**So I hoped you enjoyed it and review please! :D **


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Hey! I didn't really get a lot of reviews for this but I decided to continue anyway! Enjoy chapter 2 guys! And also I'm sorry it's late but things got in the way, like life! **

**Disclaimer – I do not own Glee, Titanic, AVPM/AVPS, or anything mentioned in this story xD**

/

**Santana Lopez: ** Wait a minute...if spoons were forks and forks were knives how would you eat your soup?

**11 Comments**

**Noah 'Puck' Puckerman: **Santana what the fuck are you talking about?

**Brittany Pierce: **I would use a knife which would be a spoon!

**Quinn Fabray: **Britt that's actually quite smart!

**Rachel Berry: **Or you could drink it out of a mug!

**Brittany Pierce: **No! Wait! You can't have soup anymore!

**Santana Lopez: **Hah! Screw you all, Britt's right! Why, Britt-britt? Oh and Puckerman shut up.

**Noah 'Puck' Puckerman: **Make me Lopez.

**Brittany Pierce: **Because soup comes in a can and can openers are ladles!

**Santana Lopez: **Boom! Britt's right!

**Tina Cohen-Chang: **Wow, those two must be a good match. They're both as insane as each other!

**Artie Abrams: **PREACH! ^^

_/_

**Noah 'Puck' Puckerman: **Listening to Beethoven with Rach. Anyone know why he wrote an 'Erotic Symphony' or something for that Napoleon dude?

**14 Comments **

**Kurt Hummel: **An EROTIC SYMPHONY? Are you being serious Puck?

**Noah 'Puck' Puckerman: **Yeah! Dude, was Beethoven a gay like you?

**Blaine Anderson: **I'm sorry, is he kidding?

**Rachel Berry: **Nope. I've been trying to explain for twenty minutes!

**Kurt Hummel: **Blaine. Hold me. My classmates are idiots.

**Blaine Anderson: ***pats* It's alright Kurt. At least Rachel and I know better!

**Rachel Berry: **Okay. Noah, babe, Beethoven wrote the 'EROICA Symphony' not the 'Erotic Symphony'

**Noah 'Puck' Puckerman: **It's the same thing though, isn't it?

**Kurt Hummel: **No Puck. Just...no.

**Noah 'Puck' Puckerman: **Whatever man. I know that this Beethoven guy was actually a homo.

**Rachel Berry: ***facepalm*

**Kurt Hummel: ***facepalm*

**Blaine Anderson: ***facepalm*

_/_

**Brittany Pierce: **Wait...yesterday we said Blaine looks like Harry Potter. Does that mean that we're at Hogwarts?

**19 Comments **

**Santana Lopez: **Could you be cuter Britt?

**Tina Cohen Chang: **No Brittany. We're not.

**Brittany Pierce: **But then that means that Harry Potter isn't magical! 'Cause we can't be at Beaubaxtons because there's guys here. And we can't be at Durmstrang 'cause there's girls here!

**Blaine Anderson: **How does she know so much about Harry Potter? She said she doesn't like reading!

**Santana Lopez: **I read them to her one night...shut up.

**Noah 'Puck' Puckerman: **Pussy whipped 'Tana!

**Santana Lopez: **Shut it.

**Brittany Pierce: **But San would never whip pussies! She doesn't try to hurt Lord Tubbington, even when he's climbing all over her!

**Noah 'Puck' Puckerman: **Satan? Two words – WAH-PAH!

**Santana Lopez: **The fuck Puckerman?

**Noah 'Puck' Puckerman: **It's whipped. WAH-PAH!

**Mike Chang: **Just me who feels we should be sitting in a coffee shop in New York?

**Rachel Berry: **Exactly Mike! It's a clear reference to Friends!

**Santana Lopez: **Puck whipped is wh-tsh! If you're going to try and call me a pussy at least get it right!

**Noah 'Puck' Puckerman: **I'm telling you it's WAH-PAH!

**Santana Lopez: **CAN'T YOU GET ANYTHING RIGHT?

**Rachel Berry: **Friends moment.

**Mike Chang: **Preach.

**Artie Abrams: **That's my line!

_/_

**Tina Cohen Chang: **I found a bright pink lip gloss in the choir room earlier. Whose is it's?

**11 Comments**

**Santana Lopez: **If it tastes of raspberries it's Britt's.

**Noah 'Puck' Puckerman: **Kurt is it yours?

**Kurt Hummel: **Puck! No it's not.

**Blaine Anderson: **Exactly, Kurt doesn't use lip gloss. Just blackcurrant flavoured lipbalms.

**Kurt Hummel: **Blaine!

**Blaine Anderson: **Sorry, was that secret?

**Mike Chang: **Oh sorry babes that lip gloss is mine!

**Tina Cohen Chang: **What?

**Santana Lopez: **Pfft that's brilliant. Mike, do anything on Saturday nights that we need to know about? ;)

**Mike Chang: **Santana shut up. It's my sister's; I had to take it back to her.

**Santana Lopez: **Suuure ;)

_/_

**Finn Hudson: **I hate my life

**5 Comments**

**Noah 'Puck' Puckerman: **Look just 'cause Rach prefers me to you, Finnessa, doesn't mean your life is crap or some bullshit like that.

**Rachel Berry: **Noah! You could have been a little kinder but yes, Finn. Just because I'm with Puck doesn't mean you have to post statuses like this.

**Santana Lopez: **Get a grip Orca!

**Kurt Hummel: **Think of me – I need to live with him!

**Santana Lopez: **Hah! Feel sorry for you Kurt!

_/_

**Blaine Anderson: **I hate a certain **Brittany Pierce **at the minute!

**9 Comments**

**Santana Lopez: **Whoa! Look here hobbit, I know I'm not the bitch I used to be but insult my girl and I will cut you. You know I have razorblades hidden in my hair!

**Kurt Hummel: **Satan! You threaten my boy and I will kill you *bitch face*

**Blaine Anderson: **Don't fight, you two! I only dislike Brittany because she managed to get me sent out of History today!

**Santana Lopez: **Brilliant! How?

**Brittany Pierce: **Well Blaine got a quiz in History yesterday and he couldn't answer the questions and Miss Hawks said she'd ask him tomorrow! So she said we were getting a quiz last period and I was panicking 'cause I didn't know shit so I went 'Miss weren't you asking Blaine questions?' So she asked him and he still didn't know so he got sent out!

**Blaine Anderson: ** -.- D:

**Kurt Hummel: **Blaine! You know you need to study! ¬.¬

**Santana Lopez: **Pfft xD Nice one babe! :D

**Brittany Pierce: **Thanks San!

_/_

**Noah 'Puck' Puckerman****: **Okay you guys! We're going to have a pick up line competition! Best or funniest wins! By the way Rachel says that it's immature and stupid *shrugs*

**10 Comments**

**Santana Lopez: **Hell yes I am so in! 'I ain't no Fred Flintstone but I sure can make your bed rock ;)'

**Quinn Fabray: **Santana! Try something nicer like; 'Are you as beautiful on the inside as you are on the outside?'

**Kurt Hummel: **'Do you have sunburn or are you always this hot?'

**Blaine Anderson: **'Your body is a wonderland and I want to be Alice!'

**Santana Lopez: ** 'Would you like to try an Australian kiss? It's just like a French kiss only down under ;)'

**Brittany Pierce: ** 'You've been a bad girl. Go to my room.'

**Noah 'Puck' Puckerman: **Seriously Britt? Santana you've corrupted her! Oh and – 'What has 142 teeth and holds back The Incredible Hulk? My zipper ;)'

**Santana Lopez: **Okay 1 – Britt. Damn! That was hot. 2 – Yeah right, Puckerman, you wish! By the way listen to this for a brilliant one – 'Did you clean your pants with window cleaner because I can totally see myself in them ;)'

**Rachel Berry: **Noah, that's highly inappropriate and as your girlfriend I disapprove! Although...'If beauty were time, you'd be an eternity.'

**Noah 'Puck' Puckerman: **Okay, Satan has the most twisted and hilarious ones but I'm sorry Britt wins with her legendary one!

/

**A/N: Sorry it took so long guys but it's up now! So again please review for me? :3 **

**Thanks to – **

**Mischievously-Emo-Leggy: who helped me with Britt's quiz thing! **

**My mother! She came up with Santana's status about the spoons and knives :D **

**And F.R.I.E.N.D.S for the whipped thing ;D **


End file.
